Let's Dance
by Elizabeth.M.Lisa
Summary: Each chapter is inspired by a song. TIVA! JIBBS! McABBY!
1. Vanilla Twilight

**Song: **Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

**Paring**: Tiva

**Rating:** K+ (Because Tony is being needy)

**Time:** After "Aliyah". After Ziva had left, before her rescue.

_The stars lean down to kiss you_

_And I lie awake and miss you_

_Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere_

It had been nearly three weeks since she had left, and still he had not gotten a good amount of sleep. Nearly every night he'd stay up, watching movies to distract himself, cleaning to distract himself (his apartment had never looked more spotless), or just lying in bed, missing her. It had become almost a routine for him.

_'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly_

_But I'l lmiss your arms around me_

_I'd send a postcard to you dear_

_'Cause I wish you were here_

Eventually his eyes close, too exhausted to stay open anymore. He'd still feel empty thoug, because he knew she wouldn't be there in the morning when he arrived at work, smiling with a mysterious gleam in her eyes. Occasionally, he'd hold his hand to his chest to make sure his heart was still there, beating away, making sure life flowed through his body, even when he wished it didn't. He imagined Ziva doing the same, wondering about him and maybe smiling at some memories they had shared. And he wondered why she never called, wrote, or even sent a postcard. He wished she was here, with him, happy and safe.

_I'll watch the night turn light blue_

_But it's not the same without you_

_Because it takes two to whisper quietly_

Sometimes he'd call in sick, and just watch the sun rise slowly, and when it had risen, he studied the clouds, making out shapes. Every once in a while, he'd see her face. He remembered the day they had gotten the day off, and they had decided to run around town together. She had taken him to a park he had never been to before, and they had climbed a tree and sat on a branch together, watching the day go by. Sometimes she'd turn and lean into him, and whisper a secret into his ear, like "I used to sleep with a teddy bear under a pillow when I was younger," or "I'm rather afraid of spiders." Each one made him smile, and she'd smile back, her eyes lighting up in that special way.

_The silence isn't so bad_

_'Til I look at my hands and feel sad_

_'Cause the spaces between my fingers_

_Are right where yours fit perfectly_

When NCIS was running slow, and there was nothing to distract him from the dull ache that throbbed in his chest, he would just stare at his hands. He missed her, and each day he wished he had tried harder to get her to understand, for her to trust him again. They were the perfect team, and he had screwed it up.

_I'll find repose in new ways_

_Though I haven't slept in two days_

_'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone_

_But drenched in vanilla twilight_

_I'll sit on the front porch all night_

_Waist deep in thought because_

_When I think of you_

_I don't feel so alone_

_I don't feel so alone_

_I don't feel so alone_

Occasionally, he'd climb the stairs to the top of his apartment building, onto the roof, just so he could look at the stars, and know that wherever she was in the world, she could see the same thing he did, and they weren't that far apart anymore. He'd sit there all night, sifting through the memories of her. They made him smile, and the dull ache would fade for a while.

"Still thinking about that girl of yours?" he felt a gentle hand grab his arm, and he jumped back, reaching for his gun, only to realize that he was in his pajama pants, and that it was just his elderly neighbor.

He turned around again, "Every night,"

"She'll come back. And when that happens, you might want to think about telling her how you feel," the old woman sighed, turning around, and hobbling back towards the stairs, and Tony listened, until her footsteps faded, and he knew he was alone with his thoughts again,. How did he feel about Ziva?

He put his hands on the railings and watched the night again, until morning came, and he was forced to accept again, that she was somewhere else, happier, and that his neighbor was wrong. She wouldn't come back, and that caused the pain to return.

_As many times as I blink_

_I'll think of you, tonight_

_I'll think of you tonight_

Once, he had tried to count how manhy times she had entered his thoughts, only to find out it was impossible. She was always there smiling, crying, laughing, yelling, scolding, or anything else he could possibly think of and he yearned for her to stand next to him, to have his back.

_When violet eyes get brighter_

_And heavy wings grow lighter_

_I'll taste the sky and feel alive again_

_And I'll forget the world that I knew_

_But I swear I won't forget you_

_Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past_

_I'd whisper in your ear_

_Oh darling, I wish you were here_

Across the world, Ziva David lay in bed, trying to forget. Nothing had worked, and she'd lay awake at night remembering everything, Tony, the one she loved, Abby, her best friend, McGee, her brother, and Gibbs, her father. And when her eyes began to droop, she swore she could hear Tony's voice whispering in her ear, in a breathy voice, "Oh darling, I wish you were here,"

She fell asleep with a smile on her face.


	2. The Way I Loved You

**Song**: The Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift

**Rating: **T (for my sailor's mouth)

**Pairing:** Mainly Tiva (with a little bit of Michael/Ziva)

**Time: **Whenever Rivkin was alive and dating Ziva

* * *

_He is sensible and so incredible_

_And all my single friends are jealous_

Ziva sat across from Abby in the Labby, explaining the date she had dressed up for yesterday. It had been a perfect date, but she knew something was missing and that _something_ was Tony. It had been Michael instead, and even if it was perfect and even if Abby was jealous, it still wasn't what she wanted

_He says everything I need to hear_

_And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better_

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen Zivaleh," he whispered in her ear, as he walked her to the car. She knew he was probably one of the best and most kind people she has ever dated, and she should be thankful, but it's still not enough.

_He opens up my door and I get into his car_

_And he says, "you look beautiful tonight"_

_And I feel perfectly fine_

When they reach his car, he quickly walked around the side and opened up her door; a perfect gentleman. As she leaned into the car, he whispered into her ear, "You look amazing tonight,". She wished that she would blush or giggle, anything, but the plain feeling that always appeared when he was around stayed inside of her, and she felt guilty. He deserved better than this.

_But I've been screaming and fighting_

_And kissin' in the rain_

"It's all my fault!" Tony yelled to the sky, rain pouring down onto him and soaking through his expensive suit, as though the heavens were mourning Director Jenny Shepard's death.

He didn't notice Ziva approach him, just as wet as he was. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he spun around, pulling out his SIG and pointing it, unwaveringly, at his forehead, watching her as she didn't even flinch.

"It is not your fault Tony. It was her own choice," the Israeli beauty whispered, her voice just barely rising above the thunder. She reached for the gun and he lowered it, laying it softly in her hand, his head bowing in shame. He thought she wouldn't notice the tears that were dripping down his face, because of the rain, but being Ziva, she reached up, and stroked a tear off of his cheek.

"It is my fault," he whispered, his voice hoarse from screaming. He felt himself giving up, but the brunette wasn't going to let him lose.

"Stop blaming yourself Tony!" she hissed, her voice fierce, "We cannot change the past. We can only move forward. Quit biting yourself up over this!"

He couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter, and immediately correct her, "It's beat, Zee. Quit beating yourself up over this,"

This caused her to smile, a mysterious sparkle lighting up her the dark, chocolate brown-colored pools, in her eyes. She placed a kiss softly on his lips, tasting salt and water on his lips. She needed him to feel better, because when he felt horrible, she felt just as bad if not worse.

"I killed her," was his response to the intimate moment, and she felt herself grow angry again, her eyes squinting and her mouth pursing into a thin line.

"Stop it Tony! Just stop it!" she yelled, turning away from him and throwing her arms around angrily, her eyebrows furrowing together.

"What do you want from me Ziva?" he roared back, just as loud. She spun back around, her curls sticking to her damp face. By now, her clothes were attached to her body, looking as though they were a second skin.

"I want you to forgive yourself Tony!" she replied, her voice still loud, drowning out the clap of thunder that sounded when she began to speak.

"I can't!" he hissed, falling to his knees and placing his head in his hands.

She knelt down beside him, once again placing a hand on his shoulder, waiting for him to look up at her. When he refused to move, she placed a finger under his chin, and moved his head upwards, so his eyes met hers. What she saw there was guilt, anger, and sadness.

"Yes you can Tony," and she placed her arms around him, feeling him embrace her too, and she put her head in the crook of her neck, listening to him sigh in content. For one night, he would forgive himself.

_And it's two am and I'm cursin' your name_

"Anthony DiNozzo, how could you get yourself blown up?" Ziva hissed, pacing around her apartment, the images of Tony's car, swimming through her brain. Her heart had broken, and the only thing she could do was curse him for being so stupid. Later, she would feel guilty, but for now she needed to get away.

_You're so in love that you act insane_

_And that's the way I loved you_

_Breakin' down and comin' undone_

_It's a roller coaster kinda rush_

_And I never knew I could feel that much_

_And that's the way I loved you_

She remembered all those nights when she and Tony had poured their hearts out to each other. Staying over night at each others apartments, laying in each others arms, seeking comfort and finding it. One would cry and scream, while the other sat patiently and quietly, nodding their head in understanding, and when the story was over, calming them down so they could fall asleep, and get a good nights that was always so rare.

It wasn't Michael's fault at all, not in the least. It was her own. Tony and her had so many good memories together, and nothing could live up to that.

_He respects my space and never makes me wait_

_And he calls exactly when he says he will_

"I just need some space right now Michael," Ziva said, holding the phone in between her ear and shoulder, cleaning the dishes that sat in her sink.

"Alright, Zivaleh. I'll call you tonight at 7, and if you want, we can go out" the voice floated back through the phone.

"Fine," she replied, hanging up quickly, and setting her phone on the counter. She was upset with Tony. He had come into work drunk, and nearly gotten himself fired. Being the anniversary of Jenny's death she should have suspected this but she hadn't even thought about it. Gibbs had ordered her to take him home, and a drunk Tony was not fun to be around. It had basically ruined her day.

When seven o'clock came around, sure enough her phone buzzed, and she answered it. She was still angry and almost automatically declined Michael's invitation to go dancing, which she normally would have accepted with gusto. He didn't seem to mind, promising to talk to her first thing in the morning. She knew he would

_He's close to my mother_

_Talks business with my father_

_He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable_

He was a perfect match for her, according to her father. Of course, he was a Mossad agent, Jewish, and one of his top agents. She agreed that he was nice, and that she was happy to be dating him, but he didn't make her heart pound, and there was nothing exciting in the relationship. He was nothing compared to Tony.

_But I've been screamin' and fightin'_

_And kissin' in the rain_

_And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name_

_You're so in love that you act insane_

_And that's the way I loved you_

_Breakin' down and comin' undone_

_It's a roller coaster kinda rush_

_And I never knew I could feel that much_

_And that's the way I loved you_

_He can't see the smile I'm fakin'_

_And my heart's not breakin'_

_'cause I'm not feelin' anything at all_

When she saw him, she'd fake a smile, always pretending to be happy to see him. He'd scoop her up in his arms and kiss her passionately, while she pretended that it was Tony instead. She knew that the senior field agent would be out on a date with some blond, and she felt the comfortable numbness settle over her, that usually would when it came to the womanizing. Her heart didn't break anymore.

_And you were wild and crazy_

_Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated_

_Got away by some mistake and now_

Memories floated back. Some were of wild nights, where they sang karaoke and drank until they wouldn't be able to remember anything anymore. They were happy and crazy together.

When they argued, and made up quickly. Both of them were complicated, and they never understood each other, but that's what made them last, until, by some misunderstanding, they slipped out of the others grasp and they were no more.

_I'll be screamin' and fightin'_

_And kissin' in the rain_

_It's two a.m and I'm cursin' your name_

_I'm so in love that I acted insane_

_And that's the way I loved you_

_Breakin' down and comin' undone_

_It's a roller-coaster kinda rush_

_And I never knew I could feel that much_

_And that's the way I loved you_

_And that's the way I loved you_

_I never knew I could feel that much_

_And that's the way I loved you_

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